On hearing the phrase 'the stressed out New Indian Woman', my instinctive feeling is to focus on the New Indian Woman part alone . I tell myself 'Stressed Out' - no, not me !
Stressed out seems to have a negative connotation and I don’t want to accept I am stressed out. The feeling is like - yeah, I know there are so many women out there who are stressed out - they do not know how to cope with their responsibilities, poor things. But me, I am quite OK..
Well, is that really true ?
On what basis am I able to easily tell myself there are so many other women who are stressed out ? What symptoms do I look for ? Coming to think of it, I feel every woman around me is stressed out. Let me try to look more closely at this inference and try to figure out the basis for me to say so. Which are the 'symptoms' or 'signs' that make me assume someone is 'stressed out'*
She has a worried look - preoccupied with something or the other.
She is literally rushing around. Rushing from one work to another walking in quick strides around the office and in the house. It is as if I caught her in the midst of something and I shouldn't have interrupted.
She gets easily irritated . You see her having arguments with the maid, the vegetable vendor, her partner and children.
She shifts from one work to another, assuming she is multitasking. If she is working on the computer, you see her with multiple windows open - on completely different tasks.
She forgets many things and ends up doing things at the last minute causing a lot of impact. Rushing to pay the school fees on the last day or later, forgetting to collect clothes from the dry cleaners, missing premium for her policies …….you got it! On many days a week, she ends up with things like these taking over bulk of her schedule for the day!
You see her trying to cater to everyone around her - the immediate family, the extended family and friends - their needs come first for her.
You very rarely see her doing something for herself - especially relaxing. Somehow the image of her relaxing seems so abnormal - you are not used to seeing it!
The above list is based on my own experience. You may feel free to cross out a few from the above and add a few more points based on your own observations.
Now, comes the most important step. Take the above list and try to do a very truthful assessment of yourself against these criteria. Didn’t I say truthful ?? Don’t try to justify - oh, but I am in a hurry because……… No, don’t do that. Better still, take a printout of this list and then ask 2 or 3 of your friends to assess you based on this list. Ask them to add a few points if they feel like it. Tell them, by doing this, they are helping you in your journey..
And, please do share with me your findings and your feelings about the same.
*Note - when I say stressed out, I am not referring to in the psychological context of the term. I am referring to the normal day to day English usage of the term..