Recently, I came across this article in the Medium, 'I hired a wife. And my career took off', by Chris Morgan. I simply loved this article. Guess what, many a times during my corporate career I have thought of this. For several years, I was not able to articulate what was missing in my life. Then one day, my dad asked me why I had not chosen to take up a particular role and then the words tumbled out. 'Because I don’t have a wife'. And that was it, that was the thing I was struggling to articulate. Once those words came out, I started thinking more about it. Yeah, I totally agree, one should be thinking first and saying out aloud after the thoughts are clear. But then, with one's own dad, I threw away all that caution. We were having a light moment, not a serious conversation about my career and stuff. So, out they came out and then I thought about what I had said. This line has come back to me several times, in the past many years. And I have never wanted to change those words.
I have imagined how my life would have been if I had a wife. Does it automatically mean I am thinking of myself as a man, in this patriarchal world ? No. Actually, I don’t particularly care. In fact, I don’t even want to think about 'how my life would have been' if I had a wife. Leave aside these complex questions for the moment.
Let me make a much simpler list. A list of what all things wouldn’t occupy my mind if I had a wife -
When my toddler kid is running a temperature and is begging me not to leave her and go to office, I would hand her over to my wife and rush to that important meeting WITHOUT feeling guilty. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT check my watch again and again to make that call to check if the pre-ursery kid has reached home from school or if the teenage daughter has reached home after her music class. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT be scared to keep the mobile in aeroplane mode even during important meetings for fearing of missing emergency calls from my teenage kids or from the school. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT say no to a project travel need or a conference outstation since my children are used to lying next to me on my bed at night. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT say no to the office party on Friday evening or the informal hanging around near the cafeteria after working late since I am rushing to reach back to my children home. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT be thinking about what to cook for dinner even when I am coming home late from work. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT be thinking about whether there are enough fruits and snacks for the children to take to school or to eat at home. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT be thinking about what all provisions need to be replenished and what menu to plan for factoring in the upcoming birthday/festival/guests arrival. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT be thinking about arranging the costumes/logistics associated with children participating in events at school or in the family. I know my wife is there to take care.
I WILL NOT worry about finding alternatives to the last minute life situations of household help not coming, missing the school bus, taking the kids to the doctor etc. I know my wife is there to take care.
This list can go on and on and may be true for most working women..but like that famous A R Rahman Song 'Chinna Chinna Aasai' or 'Choti si Aasha', I would like to add one small wish to this list. Here it is …I WILL NOT open my lunch box at office every day knowing exactly what will be there in it because I packed it- I know my wife would have packed something and that beautiful feeling of not knowing what you are going to eat - I would love to have that…
But then, my poor wife!!! Even if it is a hired wife!!
What is it for you ? What would you like in your list ?
Image courtesy : The Medium